Not Dead Yet. Just Fucking Busy.

It has been a mere week since my last entry, and yet it feels like a month. Strata after strata of events layered upon the past seven days like stocky rectangular bricks to a house. Tiring as it has been, it was productive. Like my grandmother with 12 children.

For all readers refusing to start work on a Monday, enjoy reading about the past 7 days of my life below. It just might be just slightly more interesting than viewing your bosses’ pictures on Facebook.

WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG ENTRY

24 September, Monday

• Officially adopted a Senior Account Executive under my wing. A little spitfire from what I can observe. Perfect for my portfolio of clients. Tempted as I may be, I won’t ever send her out to grab me a cuppa.
• I wonder why she says she’s interested in women on her Facebook. Hmm.

25 September, Tuesday

• Dragged my sleepy, lazy-ass feet into The American Club at 0830 for a Direct Marketing Association of Singapore workshop conducted by its Chairman, Lisa Watson, and joint head of e-Marketing, Azhar Azib from Microsoft Asia.
• Extremely interesting stuff, useful information I can utilize for my Data Strategy proposal for an upcoming client presentation. And make more money and get Finance off my back.
• Their coffee tasted like crap.
• Gave support to my sis-tah, Irene, with her first stand-up comedy at Movida. I didn’t realize it was literally a stand-up comedy. I had to stand in my heels throughout the entire show. Thank god her jokes made it worthwhile.
• In spite of my aching feet, I enjoyed myself. Got a free bottle of Vagisil that came in the goodie bag. A clean pussy is extremely important, I also say.

26 September, Wednesday

Engage 2007 Leo Burnett Arc Worldwide

• Attended Day 1 of Engage 2007, a two-day event showcasing the brightest and bravest thinkers from around the world. At SGD1600.00 per head, I’m thankful that my head got picked. That didn’t sound quite right…
• Made a couple of boo boos – failed to recognize my own Asia-Pacific President (I’m that bad with faces and names), and gave a bloke the brush off, only to realize later that he was one of the guest speakers. I suppose on the bright side, I doubt they will forget this schmuck Asian face.
Aaron Hinchion, Senior Creative of Albion, cracked me up with “I never knew what 360º marketing meant. Don’t you just end up where you begin?”
• I wish I was Reuben Steiger. Imagine how much he made from the birth of Second Life.

27 September, Thursday

• My Treo™ 680 smartphone turned out not to be very smart after all. It died on me moments after I spoke to my wife in the morning whilst splattering on my make up. 3rd phone to die on me this year. I worry about my iPhone if I ever do get one.
• Miraculously made it on time for my VO recording at Yellow Box at 1030. Joe Murray has a pitch perfect voice that commands credibility. Let’s just hope his voice convinces CEOs to buy PCs.
• I felt handicapped without my mobile phone. Yes, I’m a bloody Singaporean.
• Skipped lunch and rushed off to Day 2 of Engage 2007. Made another boo boo by failing to recognize the CEO of a brand we market. The same brand I’m about to work on in a month’s time. I should get an award for being such a cockhead.
• I want to work for Garrick Hamm.
Jessica Greenwood, the deputy editor of Contagious, is the only woman I know who can wear a green dress and crimson red heels and not look like a Christmas tree.

Zugan (Engage 2007)

• All attendees of Engage 2007 received a limited edition Touma-designed Zugan toy, specially commissioned by Leo Burnett and Arc Worldwide. I’ve decided not to sell mine on eBay.

28 September, Friday

• Finally, the week started to slow down a little. Visited my trusty ah beng mobile phone dealer friend to collect an old Sony Ericsson w900i, which required serious repair.
• Was disappointed to realize that while the phone’s lifespan has been momentarily extended by the expertise of my ah beng friend, I was recommended to trade it off as soon as I could before it dies for good.

Rebel chewing on K's crotch

• Bought K a vibrator from U4ria. I wonder how she’ll react to know that I allowed my dog to play with the packaging (note: just the packaging, not the vibrator) for a bit.
• Felt compelled to cleanse her vibrator with Dettol. Including a AA battery too, just in case she wants to use it immediately.
• Headed home and snuggled up with wifey.

29 September, Saturday

• Couldn’t convince the counter girl at Singtel to take in my faulty phone because it died in her palm during validation. Talk about great timing. Ended up having to pay for a Sony Ericsson k810i instead. Bugger.
• Celebrated K’s birthday at her home, alongside with a platoon of her relatives.
Midnight’s Driver and my wife thought I was a pedophile all because I asked a little girl sitting next to me if she’d share her sausage with me.
• Experienced a weird sense of loss knowing that K’s 1950s family house at Trevose would be torn down by its new owner – some remisier with an ah lian “I want a 4-storey high house with rooftop garden!” wife. Are you fucking out of your mind? K’s home ooze of such historical richness that comes only with time, and you want to build a stupid 4-storey high house?! Go to Punggol and buy a piece of land instead and build whatever fuck you want, can?
K’s house as it is, comes with a gorgeous garden at the front, and a gigantic tree perfect for climbing. I know someone who would.

30 September, Sunday

• If you do read to this point, let me know, I’ll buy you a drink of your choice for your startling attention span.
• Returned to Johnny Two Thumb Studio to get inked by Chak. This one is definitely the most special.

Chak from Johnny Two Thumb Studio

Motion Star

That’s pretty much everything in a nutshell. I’m not sure if you are sick of reading this by now, but I’m sure as hell bored by my own writing. Good night.

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