Compulsory Stupidity

At the vanguard of both traditional and non-traditional advertising, it almost seems compulsory that stupidity must exist amongst agencies and clients. What are the stupidest comments you have heard in your advertising/ marketing career?

Here’s some to get the ball rolling. Please note that the comments are in no order of importance or preference.

01
So if you develop the eDM, will it be in Full Color? If it takes too much time, Spot Color will do.

Client to Art Director about the development of an email direct mailer.

02
Can you show the back of the yacht?

Client to Account Manager about featuring the back of a yacht using an existing photograph that shows the side profile of the yacht for a property ad.

03
Can you do PowerPoint?

Account Executive to Art Director, trying to convince the latter to help do his job.

04
I don’t care. I want a colored fax.

Client to Executive Creative Director, insisting the Agency also create technological breakthroughs.

05
What button do you press to stop your keyboard from eating up your words when you type?

Boss to Account Manager

06
Can you make it on time?

Media Buyer to Account Executive, enquiring if the latter is able to submit ad materials in the next hour from the time the last-minute media space was booked.

07
Please change the word “ILLUMINATE” to “RADIANT” because the first 3 letters in “ILLUMINATE” looks like 3 joss sticks. It’s bad luck.

Client to Account Executive debating over a headline for a Beauty ad.

08
You need to crystallize the copy further. I need it very crystallized.

Client to Senior Account Executive over a 2-sentence copy.

09
I love all your ads. How much does it cost to run one?

Potential Client to Executive Creative Director, thinking advertising is like grocery shopping.

10
Please add red packets and firecrackers to the ad. It WILL help to convince more balding men to try our product.

Client to Account Executive fighting over the rationale on adding festive elements in the ad in view of Chinese New Year approaching around the corner.

11
Are you still at work?

Client to Senior Account Executive, at 2 o’clock in the morning.

12
The entire campaign is ok, but not the wholly-painted bus.  I think you need to redo everything so that the bus also gels.

Client to Creative Director on his supposed praise of the proposed campaign.

13
Maybe its because of the shape of the banner.

Media Sales Representative to Art Director rationalizing on the technical difficulties encountered in submitting the ad materials.

14
Can you send me the JPEGS in Illustrator format?

Client to Account Director

15
Do you think people would know that this is after all, our brand advertising?

Client to Account Executive, over a logo enlarged the size of a train’s bulkhead (the ones you will find at the escalators)

16
Actually, you do have ample time to develop this campaign. You just need to work in 24-hours format.

Account Executive to Creative Team before he was promptly slaughtered and served to the Creative Director for dinner.

17
Can you add the words “ROLL-OVER HERE” so that consumers would know that our buttons will change in color upon roll-over?

Client to Account Director, trying to be too helpful.

18

Please provide actual size mock-up for presentation purposes.

Business Development Director to Art Director, about a 90×50 metres billboard poster to be proposed to the Client.

19
What is the Agency’s recommendation? Which will you pick?

Client to Group Account Director, on the one and only idea proposed.

20
What is the gender of the birds?

Client to Account Manager, about the birds used as a backdrop in a property ad.

Thats what I have for now… If you’ve got more, feel free to share it with me. No names to be mentioned though. It’s for the sake of your career. Any mention of names will be promptly removed.


About this entry