Fatboy Lim and I hung out on Sunday and whilst getting a cup of ice lemon tea from Pizza Hut (its the authentic lipton ice tea! or so Fatboy Lim says), I couldn’t help but notice how bloody short the lady in front of us was.
Fatboy Lim, remember NOT TO eat chicken buns from China. You might end up eating cardboard. Hah. Imma miss your bloody ass, bugger.
My chichi aunt from London will have you know that my English is atrocious. Ling, speaking Singlish is fine, it’s our heritage, but bless your soul for speaking bad English.
Auntie Judy, this one is for you. I’m not that bad now, am I?
I recognize that I do have a significant amount of readers who are not from Singapore. Please allow me to translate the above video for you, according to first-mentioned-in-video basis.
What he said: They airsureli put me in on top of the list.
What he meant: They have placed me on top of the list.
What he said: Without the nose, you’re nothing.
What he meant: As a result of your use of plastic surgery, you therefore cannot be considered beautiful.
What he said: You are just dust. You are just dusty, ok?
What he meant: You are like dirt on my left shoe.
What he said: Purr-verted
What he meant: Perverted
What he said: What’s the ploblem, dude?
What he meant: What’s the problem, lady?
What he said: You sarks, you sarks, you sarks.
What he meant: You suck, you suck, you suck.
Oh my god, this one cracked me up so bad.
What he said: You are really a big chicken pie.
What he meant: (let’s give him the benefit of the doubt here, shall we) You are really a big chicken pie.
What he said: You are really ridicurous.
What he means: You are really ridiculous.
What he said: She is one of the top brogger in Singapore.
What he means: She is one of the top blogger in Singapore.
Let me provide everyone an update on the local blogging scene (yes, I’m happy being a patriotic observer). Steven Lim was labeled by Xiaxue as one of the Top Seven Most Disgusting Bloggers (in the Singapore blogosphere) and our former Orchard Road Eyebrow Plucker decided to retaliate on Youtube.com. I wish he had consulted a copywriter on his script. Sheesh. And yes, I’m extremely relieved I’m not worthy to be part of Xiaxue’s list.
And hey, guess what? Multi-talented Steven Lim has his own talent agency! I beg you, please check out his freelance models. You can even get a UOB Personal Banker “posing pretty like a Jap girl” or a cashier “so adorable that you wanna squeeze her cheek”.
Excuse me now, think my chicken pie is ready.
I was in a job interview some time ago with the general manager of a certain agency, when this unanticipated question was raised.
Whatever happened to “what’s your strengths and weaknesses?”, I wonder. Do I look that gay? Do I get paid more if I say, “Hi, I’m Pat and I eat pussies,” to each client?
His sotightyoucanseehisnipples black PVC shirt and white, svelte leather shoes were telling, so I decided to be a sport.
We do wave the same flag, but I don’t hang it outside my window as though it’s National Day.
Good, because neither do I, he smiled.
Black PVC shirt and white, svelte leather shoes. Ya right, I thought. But of course, I won’t have known you were as happy as I was, if you didn’t mention, I lied innocently thru my teeth. Hey, it was a job interview after all.
There are undeniable liberties in the advertising world, and damn right I leverage on them. People in the advertising industry are generally more open-minded, and perhaps a bit too frivolous too. In my second advertising stint in a French advertising agency, I made the historical decision to out myself to my colleagues (point to note to those toying with the same thought: remember that there isn’t any CTRL+Z button for you to “un-out” yourself, should you regret it, so do think about it carefully). And boy have I done it in style (and clearly, with a fair bit of alcohol).
Prior to my official date of employment in the French advertising agency, I was invited to the company’s Christmas party. I had initially attended the party alone, but eventually invited my then-girlfriend to come along as my partner. A clear unspoken declaration of my sexuality was made, and my freedom to be who I truly am was automatically granted.
In retrospect, I’m glad I ‘out-ed’ myself to my company, although frankly, if I have to do it now, I doubt I’ll be as blatant. I don’t fancy being liable to any conservative right-wing republican’s anxiety attacks.
But why did you do it? questioned my closeted lesbian ex-colleague. You will be surprised at the number of closeted lesbian colleagues that approach you if you happened to the official lesbian spokesperson in the office. By making my sexuality known, it becomes too obvious for one to gossip about. You don’t point out at an Indian and whisper “hey, that girl’s an Indian”, do you? I explained.
While my sexuality is a registered fact, I don’t see a need to shove the information down everyone’s throat. In all honesty, I don’t see how my sexuality is relevant to my performance at work. I see myself as Pat Law the Suit, and not Pat Law, the Lesbian Suit. My preference for women does not mean I want to get in the pants of all my female colleagues and clients. Well, not all anyway. It took Midnight a year before he realized I was gay, through a photograph I had on my desk with my ex-girlfriend. And for all my female ex-clients whom I had affectionately nicknamed “my wives”, they were only informed of my sexuality after I was no longer servicing their accounts. I like the fact that they still refer me as their “ex-hubby”. Heh.
What I’ve come to realize from being open about my sexuality is that people aren’t as homophobic as I perceived them to be. The more comfortable I am being gay with them, the more comfortable they are with me being gay. At the end of the day, being gay has absolutely nothing to do with my clients’ ROI or my company’s profitability.
In summary, I’m proud to be gay and I have been fortunate that I have not been punished with any discrimination at work for being gay.
Here are a couple of questions for all gay readers of my blog: Do you wear your pride on your sleeve at work and if so, do you face any prejudice as such?
Delicately engraved by hand with the fingerprint of your partner. My idea of a perfect wedding band by Andrew English. By commision only.
A second home where her name’s Ling. Where she swallows her Hokkien vulgarities and sings in Queen’s English. Where she awakes to delicious honey-drenched pancakes and smoky Sumatra coffee. Where she sips a glass of white each evening with her family.
Where she may return on August 16.
Even if I sound like an untuned violin speaking Mandarin, you ought to give me credit for designing these.
A pair of golden balls had a vacation upon the shores of South of France. Urgh. To think I wasn’t gonna indulge with the world on the Posh + Becks mambo jambo.
Can’t help it, mate. They are a bit too prominent not to talk about.
Via: Perezhilton.com
Perhaps one fine day in my advertising career, I will be able to afford using Steven Klein as my photographer. He lives and works in New York and first began his photographic career in the early 1990s with a commission from Dior.
Now one of the most sought after and influential photographers working in fashion today, simply because of his irreverent, nonchalant and provocative style, his images seem to revel in complicating a celebrity’s perceived identity rather than re-enforcing it.
And that is why he has been summoned to deliver the Beckhams to 90210, in August 2007’s issue of W Magazine. Enjoy.
The perfect modern-meets-vintage design atelier I have been looking for. Just when you think the apparel’s ohsosweet, and that it’s bound to be blessed with your mother-in-law’s approval, it subtly slips out a cheeky statement, embroidered in such a contradicting, dainty manner. Kudos, Nicole Locher.
As extracted from The Straits Times:
MM Lee Kuan Yew recently said that ‘homosexuals are mostly born that way’. The Government has in effect adopted a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. With Singapore becoming more cosmopolitan, should society also be more open towards homosexuality?
Singaporeans should be…? Take part in The Straits Times online poll now.
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